by Stephanie F. Earls
I recently had a birthday. On that day I decided to look directly at the life giving, cleansing, guiding light of ours: the sun. Might not sound like much to you but for me it was symbolic, one of those things I was always told not to do, and I never really knew why and not sure I believed the scary stories I was told about what would happen. I wondered if I did not look at the sun for my own good or someone else's.
Well that day while sailing in the Caribbean, thinking I could live my whole life and never really know what it looks like to look at the sun - maybe the feeling of another year gone by, maybe the thrill of being in such vibrant light, I thought, what do I have to lose? (Ok, I hear you all, I could lose my eyesight....I know...my dad made sure to detail the process of burning a hole in the retina when he heard I did this.) Anyway, I took matters into my own hands, uh, eyes and looked. Yes, right at the sun. Multiple times.
And you know what? I can still see. (thank god)
Setting aside the momentary rebellion, the cool thing is, as volatile as our minds can be, debating on whether or not to do things, rethinking what we just did, or contemplating what we have been told by others, the body is a perfect back up. The body is always talking to us, giving us feedback about how things around us feel, whether they are healthy for us or not. Our bodies protect us. It takes a bit of practice and tuning in for more subtle situations, but for many things the message is clear, just like a gut feeling.
In the case of looking at the sun, the eyes start to water and reflexes shut the lids. As strong as the urge to look comes the urge to look away. And I admit, I pushed it a little, my mind challenging my body and the light, desiring to SEE it as much as I feel it. But my body won out. The eyes, the body protects itself.
So, bring the mind and body together. Listen to your body. If you feel tired, take it easy. If your belly fills up, stop eating. If your eyes hurt looking at the sun, close them. If you push it to an extreme your body will give you extreme signals. Trust yourself. It's just like it feels.
12 April 2011
31 March 2011
Engage
by Stephanie F. Earls
One of the things I do to stay well is talk therapy. Arriving for an appointment is as therapeutic as the talk itself.
One of the things I do to stay well is talk therapy. Arriving for an appointment is as therapeutic as the talk itself.
A visit begins when you pull alongside the oversized Victorian house on a cramped street. You have to take big steps up onto the porch and read the sign to remind yourself to use the door on the left. You pull open the screen door and next to a plastic button there is a sign that says "ring bell and then enter". Once you ring the bell your hand falls to the knob, so humungous it expands your palm and requires a long, slow turn. As the latch releases, the weight and height of the oversized door become more apparent. It opens slow and smooth with a long creek and once inside, the door and another sign require you to turn the knob and push the door shut. Now between two doors, one just shut, the next not yet open you must again turn a big knob and enter the house through this inner door with the same deliberate movements, intentional knob turning and door shutting. There is a feeling that you are entering another world altogether sometimes. The house, it's space, is of another time; dark wood, old windows, high ceilings and these doors the size of giants.
I have been going there for two years and am still in awe at how the mere act of entering this house demands you be in the present moment. It requires you engage in the here and now, just to get IN, fittingly so since it's a path to healing, and how can we heal or grow if we can not be here now. This house has a magic about it that gently commands your body to be here so much that your mind has no choice but to join.
This same healing aspect, being in your present moment, is what I love about yoga, union: bringing together mind, body and spirit. It is what helps us to heal, engaging ourselves on the physical level and becoming aware of what our bodies are doing; how and why. Becoming conscious of ourselves is the path to healing. Whether on our mat or at our job, with friends or cleaning the house, we have the choice to go through the motions or truly engage. There may be days when being present is a challenge and showing up is the best we can do. Do it. There may be days when being present is so natural that we break through our blocks. Celebrate it. There may be days when all we have are more questions and confusion. Accept it.
There's no "winning" yoga, same goes for life (there might be a famous guy out there who disagrees ;) and our job is just to show up, turn the knob and open the door. Maybe we feel relief, maybe we don't, but if we are here and pay attention then at least we know how we feel and can be our own best friend. We will have been present, the place where the eternal, the infinite, dwells. It is the place where the doors, no matter how big, begin to open with our deliberate intention, showing us our path.
01 March 2011
Connect
by Stephanie F. Earls
A few days ago I took my kids to the bookstore. My oldest son brought along a personal computer game because he wanted to see if he could connect via wifi to other people playing the game he was playing. As we walked around the store he watched the little machine, taking note of how many bars he had...2, now 3, now 2, now 1. We made our way into the back of the store and while I was looking at something I heard his little voice saying, "connect, connect, connect", almost begging for his game to find other players.
It made me laugh a little because I have had moments like that where my technology lapses...cable modem freezes up or my cell phone does not get service and I am trying to connect.
It can be frustrating, we want to reach out and find eachother....blogs, facebook, telephone, emails. But, if electricity goes out or nothing's coming through, we feel alone. We sit there saying, "connect, connect, connect".
At our core, as much as we value our individuality, we also crave the connection to others, to community and most of all, to ourselves. We long for feeling connected, in touch, alive.
So how do we do it? You can be in a room of 100 people and feel totally alone. You can be sitting next to your best friend and feel alone. You can have your internet connection working perfectly: twitter, facebook, email functioning but no one to talk to. Isolated. So what is it we are truly after? Is it a working wifi connection or a working connection to ourselves?
Maybe in the moments when technology bogs up or phones don't ring is our chance, a little space to listen to ourselves...our heart, our soul, our bodies. Yoga does this for me, for you it could be taking a nap or running a few miles or creating art. It is the time we turn inside and just listen. Maybe what we hear sounds sweet, maybe bitter. It does not really matter. What matters is the listening. In listening we connect. We connect to ourselves, our own inner voice, guidance, wisdom. We connect to our knowingness. It's not about whether it's good or bad, light or dark, happy or sad...it's about that we pay attention and answer our spirit's call to connect. Just like us, our spirit is hanging out saying "connect, connect, connect" and all we need to do is put up a little signal saying, "I'm here". Then as we listen, we learn, we know better. When we know better we offer a more pure version of ourselves in everything we do. It's not whether we behave or get in trouble. It's not whether we feel tired or invigorated. It's not whether we are happy or totally pissed. It's about just taking the time to listen and be here, to be our own best friend, to be our connection. And through that connection comes the life, the inspiration and the strength to guide us to and through every other connection we make.
Listen to your spirit. Grant it's wish. Connect, connect, connect.
A few days ago I took my kids to the bookstore. My oldest son brought along a personal computer game because he wanted to see if he could connect via wifi to other people playing the game he was playing. As we walked around the store he watched the little machine, taking note of how many bars he had...2, now 3, now 2, now 1. We made our way into the back of the store and while I was looking at something I heard his little voice saying, "connect, connect, connect", almost begging for his game to find other players.
It made me laugh a little because I have had moments like that where my technology lapses...cable modem freezes up or my cell phone does not get service and I am trying to connect.
It can be frustrating, we want to reach out and find eachother....blogs, facebook, telephone, emails. But, if electricity goes out or nothing's coming through, we feel alone. We sit there saying, "connect, connect, connect".
At our core, as much as we value our individuality, we also crave the connection to others, to community and most of all, to ourselves. We long for feeling connected, in touch, alive.
So how do we do it? You can be in a room of 100 people and feel totally alone. You can be sitting next to your best friend and feel alone. You can have your internet connection working perfectly: twitter, facebook, email functioning but no one to talk to. Isolated. So what is it we are truly after? Is it a working wifi connection or a working connection to ourselves?
Maybe in the moments when technology bogs up or phones don't ring is our chance, a little space to listen to ourselves...our heart, our soul, our bodies. Yoga does this for me, for you it could be taking a nap or running a few miles or creating art. It is the time we turn inside and just listen. Maybe what we hear sounds sweet, maybe bitter. It does not really matter. What matters is the listening. In listening we connect. We connect to ourselves, our own inner voice, guidance, wisdom. We connect to our knowingness. It's not about whether it's good or bad, light or dark, happy or sad...it's about that we pay attention and answer our spirit's call to connect. Just like us, our spirit is hanging out saying "connect, connect, connect" and all we need to do is put up a little signal saying, "I'm here". Then as we listen, we learn, we know better. When we know better we offer a more pure version of ourselves in everything we do. It's not whether we behave or get in trouble. It's not whether we feel tired or invigorated. It's not whether we are happy or totally pissed. It's about just taking the time to listen and be here, to be our own best friend, to be our connection. And through that connection comes the life, the inspiration and the strength to guide us to and through every other connection we make.
Listen to your spirit. Grant it's wish. Connect, connect, connect.
20 February 2011
The Ache
by Stephanie F. Earls
Do you have it? Not just a sore foot or tired back, I am talking the ache. Deep, tender, vulnerable, confusing ache. The sort of ache that makes you feel like nothing matters. It might have a physical manifestation or maybe something less tangible like a heavy fog settled around your heart. It's not always there but now and then it'll creep up and cause you to wonder why or what or who. You look around at your life and see the sum total of your parts does not seem to justify the ache, which makes it so much harder to accept. Everything should be good. Things should make sense. You should be happy. You should not have the ache.
These days despite all the beauty, gratitude and devotion in our lives, many of us still experience the ache. It's not that we are not inspired, it's not that we are bitter. It's not that we are asleep at the wheel. On the contrary, the ache has surfaced precisely because we decided to wake up. We became aware. We have awakened something in ourselves that says, "hey, I'm here! And, living half a life is not the way I want to live anymore." Do we mourn our losses? Sure. Do we long to feel whole? Of course. But just because we notice the ache does not mean we are stuck on our loss or less than whole already. It simply means we have begun waking up to our full expression.
As soon as you wake up from your sleepy self you notice the part of you that has been most deeply at rest. It might feel a little tired, it might ache.
Imagine it this way: after a year as a couch potato, you run a mile. The next day, how do you feel? You probably ache. Maybe tender quads and calves, a vulnerable back or all over deep tired. It's confusing because you did something to help yourself and you feel ache. But this ache is not debilitating, it is new awareness of those parts of you that were less active until now. The ache might tempt you to say "running sucks" but now those parts and you have new blood, new energy, new life force flowing through them like never before. They are alive and you know it. You are aware.
So, what do those parts need? The hard*ss will tell you to stop your whining and get out there and run again, to keep limber and active. The softy will suggest a little tlc: a rub or warm bath. Both say patience and a little time.
So while you are walking around in these fast moving days of change and growth, when you wake up, keep up. If you feel the ache ask yourself if it throbs because you are not working it or because you are. And you know the answer. Treat it like the part of you that was sleeping for a while and got a little sore because you woke it up. Follow the hard*ss advice: stop your whining and continue exercising your wake up. Follow the softy's words and give yourself a little tlc. Maybe a combination of both. Try some patience and time. Breathe here. Remind yourself you are growing. You woke up! You've brought in new energy, new life force.
You don't have to change anything and you don't have to judge the ache. Just notice it. Stay aware and you will stay open. Just like running again the next day, awareness will keep the spirit limber in your body. With a little awareness you will find patience. With a little time you will transform. And soon you will realize the ache was just a little growing pain.
Do you have it? Not just a sore foot or tired back, I am talking the ache. Deep, tender, vulnerable, confusing ache. The sort of ache that makes you feel like nothing matters. It might have a physical manifestation or maybe something less tangible like a heavy fog settled around your heart. It's not always there but now and then it'll creep up and cause you to wonder why or what or who. You look around at your life and see the sum total of your parts does not seem to justify the ache, which makes it so much harder to accept. Everything should be good. Things should make sense. You should be happy. You should not have the ache.
These days despite all the beauty, gratitude and devotion in our lives, many of us still experience the ache. It's not that we are not inspired, it's not that we are bitter. It's not that we are asleep at the wheel. On the contrary, the ache has surfaced precisely because we decided to wake up. We became aware. We have awakened something in ourselves that says, "hey, I'm here! And, living half a life is not the way I want to live anymore." Do we mourn our losses? Sure. Do we long to feel whole? Of course. But just because we notice the ache does not mean we are stuck on our loss or less than whole already. It simply means we have begun waking up to our full expression.
As soon as you wake up from your sleepy self you notice the part of you that has been most deeply at rest. It might feel a little tired, it might ache.
Imagine it this way: after a year as a couch potato, you run a mile. The next day, how do you feel? You probably ache. Maybe tender quads and calves, a vulnerable back or all over deep tired. It's confusing because you did something to help yourself and you feel ache. But this ache is not debilitating, it is new awareness of those parts of you that were less active until now. The ache might tempt you to say "running sucks" but now those parts and you have new blood, new energy, new life force flowing through them like never before. They are alive and you know it. You are aware.
So, what do those parts need? The hard*ss will tell you to stop your whining and get out there and run again, to keep limber and active. The softy will suggest a little tlc: a rub or warm bath. Both say patience and a little time.
So while you are walking around in these fast moving days of change and growth, when you wake up, keep up. If you feel the ache ask yourself if it throbs because you are not working it or because you are. And you know the answer. Treat it like the part of you that was sleeping for a while and got a little sore because you woke it up. Follow the hard*ss advice: stop your whining and continue exercising your wake up. Follow the softy's words and give yourself a little tlc. Maybe a combination of both. Try some patience and time. Breathe here. Remind yourself you are growing. You woke up! You've brought in new energy, new life force.
You don't have to change anything and you don't have to judge the ache. Just notice it. Stay aware and you will stay open. Just like running again the next day, awareness will keep the spirit limber in your body. With a little awareness you will find patience. With a little time you will transform. And soon you will realize the ache was just a little growing pain.
01 February 2011
Identity
by Stephanie F. Earls
Who are you? What defines you? Do you know? Does it come from the inside or the outside? Every now and then, even if you contemplate this notion from time to time there are moments that happen which get you to take a look at yourself.
A small moment like that happened for me today when I went to the registry of motor vehicles to change my name on my license. With forms filled out, new picture taken and fees paid, the clerk handed me a paper that would be sufficient to use to drive until my "new" license arrives in the mail. My "old" license disappeared into the abyss.
I turned to leave and felt like something was missing! Naked. No "identification". Even the paper that will suffice for driving clearly states that it "may not be used as official identification". I had momentary panic and realized I was a little attached to my "identity" in my driver's license. It felt strange and uncertain to leave my "identity" behind, separate from myself as I walked away.
I took a quick inventory of myself, questioning: is that plastic card really me? Does it define me? Does the name and how it appears really identify me? Do I need "official identification" to feel who I am?
In yoga philosophy one of the yamas or restraints is the principle of aparigraha: non-possessiveness/non-attachment. It is the practice of remaining open hearted and open handed through life, letting the ever changing variables of life come and go - flow - whether they be plastic cards with your name on them or a car, a job or a loved one. It's a tough principle because though we try to remain open we still naturally attach to the things in life that we care about. Today for me it was a plastic card linked to my name. In and of itself, my heart was not in it but still there was a tiny pang in my heart as I started to walk away without it. What about for the things that we become more invested in? A job we love, a relationship we value, our home, a dream of something we'd put our heart into. It can be a challenge.
But here in rests the chance to get to know ourselves better, to connect to what is us, from the inside. Here is the chance to connect to the very heart of who we are.
It is part of our practice in yoga, in life, in anything we love, to connect to the part of us that does not change, which can not be taken away or left behind at a registry. Coming to know the steady and gentle constant inside ourselves, which rests unaffected by the whims of what is outside, is part of the path toward peace in our lives.
The external changes, it's the nature of things. Our being is more than a thing. Anytime we quiet and connect to our center (even just setting the intention to find it) we are nourished by our eternal. We find a strength which can endure all questions of identity. We come to the heart of who we are even while the external swirls around us. We practice remaining open hearted and open handed so that life can flow through us, letting our identity emanate from the inside out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
60 second practice
Try it: Come to your center. Practice. Use the simplest tool, your breath. Watch your breath and the way it moves in and out of your body. Take 60 seconds, one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly. Close your eyes and feel the in breath and the out breath. I've said it before, and it's worth repeating... simply notice your breath, no need to change anything, no right or wrong. Just notice your breath. You will be 60 seconds more aware of your source, your light and your identity, which can never be left behind and burns brighter than the sun. Feel your warmth, feel your strength, feel your openness and with open hands and open heart, know you.
Who are you? What defines you? Do you know? Does it come from the inside or the outside? Every now and then, even if you contemplate this notion from time to time there are moments that happen which get you to take a look at yourself.
A small moment like that happened for me today when I went to the registry of motor vehicles to change my name on my license. With forms filled out, new picture taken and fees paid, the clerk handed me a paper that would be sufficient to use to drive until my "new" license arrives in the mail. My "old" license disappeared into the abyss.
I turned to leave and felt like something was missing! Naked. No "identification". Even the paper that will suffice for driving clearly states that it "may not be used as official identification". I had momentary panic and realized I was a little attached to my "identity" in my driver's license. It felt strange and uncertain to leave my "identity" behind, separate from myself as I walked away.
I took a quick inventory of myself, questioning: is that plastic card really me? Does it define me? Does the name and how it appears really identify me? Do I need "official identification" to feel who I am?
In yoga philosophy one of the yamas or restraints is the principle of aparigraha: non-possessiveness/non-attachment. It is the practice of remaining open hearted and open handed through life, letting the ever changing variables of life come and go - flow - whether they be plastic cards with your name on them or a car, a job or a loved one. It's a tough principle because though we try to remain open we still naturally attach to the things in life that we care about. Today for me it was a plastic card linked to my name. In and of itself, my heart was not in it but still there was a tiny pang in my heart as I started to walk away without it. What about for the things that we become more invested in? A job we love, a relationship we value, our home, a dream of something we'd put our heart into. It can be a challenge.
But here in rests the chance to get to know ourselves better, to connect to what is us, from the inside. Here is the chance to connect to the very heart of who we are.
It is part of our practice in yoga, in life, in anything we love, to connect to the part of us that does not change, which can not be taken away or left behind at a registry. Coming to know the steady and gentle constant inside ourselves, which rests unaffected by the whims of what is outside, is part of the path toward peace in our lives.
The external changes, it's the nature of things. Our being is more than a thing. Anytime we quiet and connect to our center (even just setting the intention to find it) we are nourished by our eternal. We find a strength which can endure all questions of identity. We come to the heart of who we are even while the external swirls around us. We practice remaining open hearted and open handed so that life can flow through us, letting our identity emanate from the inside out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
60 second practice
Try it: Come to your center. Practice. Use the simplest tool, your breath. Watch your breath and the way it moves in and out of your body. Take 60 seconds, one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly. Close your eyes and feel the in breath and the out breath. I've said it before, and it's worth repeating... simply notice your breath, no need to change anything, no right or wrong. Just notice your breath. You will be 60 seconds more aware of your source, your light and your identity, which can never be left behind and burns brighter than the sun. Feel your warmth, feel your strength, feel your openness and with open hands and open heart, know you.
25 January 2011
(To the Heart of) Balancing Thoughts Part 2
by Stephanie F. Earls
Well, if you read the last post and have tried it at all, you've gotten some good information for yourself about how you feel in relation to the thoughts you choose. And depending on how in flux your thoughts have been, there is the possibility you could feel a little like a see-saw, bouncing back and forth between positive and negative thoughts, which brings me to this post.
A few nights ago as I was putting my four year old to bed I found myself saying the exact words to him that my dad used to say to me at bedtime when I was a kid: "turn off your brain". As a kid I did not have any idea how I could do that or even that it was an option, there was just thought and it was going all on it's own. And this very night my son looked at me after I said those words and asked, much to my surprise: "mom, how do I turn off my brain?" After I laughed at the sheer fact that 30 years later my son is asking the very question that plagued me, I found the words coming out of my mouth that I use in yoga everyday: "Just notice your breath. Follow your breath in and feel your belly rise then follow your breath out and feel your belly fall." In that moment my words and description suited a four year old a bit more than a room full of adults practicing yoga, but the message is the same: breathe here.
If the mind is busy, whether we "judge" it as positive or negative, we can bypass the endless cycle of thoughts by bringing our attention to the breath, especially in two places in our body at the same time. So, maybe notice the feeling of air at the nose as well as the rise and fall of the belly. Bring your hand to the belly for extra sensory input. Or bring one hand to the heart and the other to the belly and notice the expansion and contraction of your rib cage and the rise and fall of the belly. Engaging the senses this way helps short circuit the mind's hooking you into your thoughts and letting them run away with you...all of you: your body, breath, being, mind, health...your well being. Use yourself to your advantage, take the reigns and hold steady, using your body as a tool. Find balance regardless of thought.
Now I know it all sounds well and good on paper or hunky dory if you can get to a yoga class or sit quietly to meditate (which help you integrate your practice) but what we all ask is: is this for real? Can this be used in day to day life when your kids are screaming or the work you just finished got torn to shreds or your sick parents need constant care or someone you love just died or you are just bummed out about life? Well, if I had all the answers I might not be writing any of this but what I do have is my experience. I have the chance to learn, I have real life stuff (again, alternate s word) happen all the time, and most of all, I have PRACTICE. And I can say though it's not easy, it does work. Sometimes we start to practice and fight with ourselves about it but that is just part of the balance...getting through the fight to the place where we CHOOSE breath, which is choosing space. And once you choose breath you open up places to make other choices.
In my last entry I was advocating, if you are going to be in your mind, choosing "positive" thoughts, which is still a worthwhile tool and one which as humans we have available until we die. However, there will be days when even what we deem "positive" can not lift us out of the place we feel stuck in. It comes down to realizing that with thoughts we are driving the bus and have a choice, and taking the chance to link our thoughts to action. The breath is our most simple, free and powerful tool to help us "turn off our brains" at the appropriate time.
The breath is our source, it is our life and it will show us the way to peace when we choose it, and not just peace of mind but peace of being. What I love most about breath is it is centered in our body right at the heart, the true center of peace in our being. As we developed in our mothers' wombs, before there was a brain, before there was breath, there was heart. It is the place where heaven and earth meet. Our breath serves to direct us back to our center, to our heart, to balance.
Use your breath, come back to your source. Get out of your head and into your body. If you love being physical, run, play sports, do yoga, dance...notice your breath. If you are not so physical, rub your hands together, bring them together in prayer or rest them on your heart and belly. Either way bring it to the basics of noticing your inhale and your exhale. Let yourself get to the "heart" of balancing your thoughts, taking the mind down to the body and following, observing, feeling. No need to change anything. No judgement about whether the breath is right or wrong. It's just breath. It is. And then like magic you begin to transcend the positive and negative thoughts and find a balance that resides in your whole being. You come to the space where the divine in you shines from your center, balanced. All it takes is for you to breathe here.
Well, if you read the last post and have tried it at all, you've gotten some good information for yourself about how you feel in relation to the thoughts you choose. And depending on how in flux your thoughts have been, there is the possibility you could feel a little like a see-saw, bouncing back and forth between positive and negative thoughts, which brings me to this post.
A few nights ago as I was putting my four year old to bed I found myself saying the exact words to him that my dad used to say to me at bedtime when I was a kid: "turn off your brain". As a kid I did not have any idea how I could do that or even that it was an option, there was just thought and it was going all on it's own. And this very night my son looked at me after I said those words and asked, much to my surprise: "mom, how do I turn off my brain?" After I laughed at the sheer fact that 30 years later my son is asking the very question that plagued me, I found the words coming out of my mouth that I use in yoga everyday: "Just notice your breath. Follow your breath in and feel your belly rise then follow your breath out and feel your belly fall." In that moment my words and description suited a four year old a bit more than a room full of adults practicing yoga, but the message is the same: breathe here.
If the mind is busy, whether we "judge" it as positive or negative, we can bypass the endless cycle of thoughts by bringing our attention to the breath, especially in two places in our body at the same time. So, maybe notice the feeling of air at the nose as well as the rise and fall of the belly. Bring your hand to the belly for extra sensory input. Or bring one hand to the heart and the other to the belly and notice the expansion and contraction of your rib cage and the rise and fall of the belly. Engaging the senses this way helps short circuit the mind's hooking you into your thoughts and letting them run away with you...all of you: your body, breath, being, mind, health...your well being. Use yourself to your advantage, take the reigns and hold steady, using your body as a tool. Find balance regardless of thought.
Now I know it all sounds well and good on paper or hunky dory if you can get to a yoga class or sit quietly to meditate (which help you integrate your practice) but what we all ask is: is this for real? Can this be used in day to day life when your kids are screaming or the work you just finished got torn to shreds or your sick parents need constant care or someone you love just died or you are just bummed out about life? Well, if I had all the answers I might not be writing any of this but what I do have is my experience. I have the chance to learn, I have real life stuff (again, alternate s word) happen all the time, and most of all, I have PRACTICE. And I can say though it's not easy, it does work. Sometimes we start to practice and fight with ourselves about it but that is just part of the balance...getting through the fight to the place where we CHOOSE breath, which is choosing space. And once you choose breath you open up places to make other choices.
In my last entry I was advocating, if you are going to be in your mind, choosing "positive" thoughts, which is still a worthwhile tool and one which as humans we have available until we die. However, there will be days when even what we deem "positive" can not lift us out of the place we feel stuck in. It comes down to realizing that with thoughts we are driving the bus and have a choice, and taking the chance to link our thoughts to action. The breath is our most simple, free and powerful tool to help us "turn off our brains" at the appropriate time.
The breath is our source, it is our life and it will show us the way to peace when we choose it, and not just peace of mind but peace of being. What I love most about breath is it is centered in our body right at the heart, the true center of peace in our being. As we developed in our mothers' wombs, before there was a brain, before there was breath, there was heart. It is the place where heaven and earth meet. Our breath serves to direct us back to our center, to our heart, to balance.
Use your breath, come back to your source. Get out of your head and into your body. If you love being physical, run, play sports, do yoga, dance...notice your breath. If you are not so physical, rub your hands together, bring them together in prayer or rest them on your heart and belly. Either way bring it to the basics of noticing your inhale and your exhale. Let yourself get to the "heart" of balancing your thoughts, taking the mind down to the body and following, observing, feeling. No need to change anything. No judgement about whether the breath is right or wrong. It's just breath. It is. And then like magic you begin to transcend the positive and negative thoughts and find a balance that resides in your whole being. You come to the space where the divine in you shines from your center, balanced. All it takes is for you to breathe here.
14 January 2011
Balancing Thoughts
by Stephanie F. Earls
Life is about balance. In yoga we balance ourselves physically by practicing postures on both sides of our body. In many postures we find balance by locating our center. Sometimes we fall. But it's not that we failed, we just got some information about where exactly our center, our balance, resides. Our body tells us "hey, you went to far there" or "oh, that feels perfect, hold this now".
And what about balancing the mind?
When things are tough do we resign ourselves to sad thinking? Do we "fall" into a black hole, feeling despair and making our lives an all or nothing based on a dark perspecitve? Or do we realize we are just getting information?
We've all been in the "fall"...going through stuff (I'd put another "s" word here but I promised my kids I'd stop using it...) and we start to spiral down thinking about all the things that have gone wrong and how there must be some big dark cloud around us attracting more of the same. It can get compounded by what we hear and see around us. This week I learned of a friend's son who lost half his body in Afghanistan and then the news of this crazy guy in Arizona. We all feel the collective weight of things out of our control.
This stuff, whether personal or global, gets in our face and sucks our attention away from the miracles and quiet sweetness that happen everyday. It's a trick of the ego, personal or collective, trying to get our attention and hold us back. We have to stay balanced.
Let's keep ourselves pliable and growing. If we fall a little into a dark spiral, we have to admit we're in it and it does not feel good. There is no benefit in denying that it broke our hearts to hear troubling news. But then remember that how we feel will change like all things do. And it does not own us.
Sometimes we easily jump into the "everything sucks" place but, how often, when things feel happy, calm (sometimes mistaken for mundane), joyful, or abundant do we do that exact same thing and jump into the "EVERYTHING IS FREAKIN' AWESOME" place? How often do we create an all or nothing out of a good day? If we are going to go to extremes with our thinking, why not do it on the happy end?
How often do we spend time watching people on tv talk about all the joy and kindness in the world? How much stop and listen do we do when things are good? I have a hunch we all listen and rejoice and celebrate the small triumphs in each other's lives quite a bit. It might not get news attention, but it gets our attention. We move through our days, honoring stories of the amazing midwife who helped a friend birth their baby... Or the doctor who stood by a patient through way more in life than one could ask... Or the grandparent who gave up a day at work to make cookies with their grandchild... Or the father whose brain tumor healed by his own strength and the power of prayer... Or the teacher who makes each student feel like part of her family. These are everyday miracles that go un-talked about in mass media but they are our everyday and they far outweigh the craziness in the world. These examples are what is.
Even if just in our own hearts and minds, let's make mountains out of these everyday beauties so that when crazy pops up we do not disintegrate our well being and our peace of mind.
Let's balance.
Try this if you notice yourself going to the "everything sucks" mode when you have a bad day... the next time something feels sweet, go to the "everything is freakin' awesome" mode. If you need to balance things off, do it big: OH MY GOD, THIS IS WONDERFUL, EVERYTHING IS HAPPY. HOW PERFECT LIFE IS. Do it as soon as, and any time something makes your heart leap or the corners on your mouth turn up, or even if you just have a moment of peace of mind...when you have something, anything happen that makes you feel good.
Let's see what happens. It's not about denying when things feel hard. We honor those falls because they show us the way to our joy. They give us information. They help us balance. We just do not let them own us. This is about acknowledging with the same enthusiasm and conviction when things feel good so that just like the falls, we get information and find our balance.
Life is about balance. In yoga we balance ourselves physically by practicing postures on both sides of our body. In many postures we find balance by locating our center. Sometimes we fall. But it's not that we failed, we just got some information about where exactly our center, our balance, resides. Our body tells us "hey, you went to far there" or "oh, that feels perfect, hold this now".
And what about balancing the mind?
When things are tough do we resign ourselves to sad thinking? Do we "fall" into a black hole, feeling despair and making our lives an all or nothing based on a dark perspecitve? Or do we realize we are just getting information?
We've all been in the "fall"...going through stuff (I'd put another "s" word here but I promised my kids I'd stop using it...) and we start to spiral down thinking about all the things that have gone wrong and how there must be some big dark cloud around us attracting more of the same. It can get compounded by what we hear and see around us. This week I learned of a friend's son who lost half his body in Afghanistan and then the news of this crazy guy in Arizona. We all feel the collective weight of things out of our control.
This stuff, whether personal or global, gets in our face and sucks our attention away from the miracles and quiet sweetness that happen everyday. It's a trick of the ego, personal or collective, trying to get our attention and hold us back. We have to stay balanced.
Let's keep ourselves pliable and growing. If we fall a little into a dark spiral, we have to admit we're in it and it does not feel good. There is no benefit in denying that it broke our hearts to hear troubling news. But then remember that how we feel will change like all things do. And it does not own us.
Sometimes we easily jump into the "everything sucks" place but, how often, when things feel happy, calm (sometimes mistaken for mundane), joyful, or abundant do we do that exact same thing and jump into the "EVERYTHING IS FREAKIN' AWESOME" place? How often do we create an all or nothing out of a good day? If we are going to go to extremes with our thinking, why not do it on the happy end?
How often do we spend time watching people on tv talk about all the joy and kindness in the world? How much stop and listen do we do when things are good? I have a hunch we all listen and rejoice and celebrate the small triumphs in each other's lives quite a bit. It might not get news attention, but it gets our attention. We move through our days, honoring stories of the amazing midwife who helped a friend birth their baby... Or the doctor who stood by a patient through way more in life than one could ask... Or the grandparent who gave up a day at work to make cookies with their grandchild... Or the father whose brain tumor healed by his own strength and the power of prayer... Or the teacher who makes each student feel like part of her family. These are everyday miracles that go un-talked about in mass media but they are our everyday and they far outweigh the craziness in the world. These examples are what is.
Even if just in our own hearts and minds, let's make mountains out of these everyday beauties so that when crazy pops up we do not disintegrate our well being and our peace of mind.
Let's balance.
Try this if you notice yourself going to the "everything sucks" mode when you have a bad day... the next time something feels sweet, go to the "everything is freakin' awesome" mode. If you need to balance things off, do it big: OH MY GOD, THIS IS WONDERFUL, EVERYTHING IS HAPPY. HOW PERFECT LIFE IS. Do it as soon as, and any time something makes your heart leap or the corners on your mouth turn up, or even if you just have a moment of peace of mind...when you have something, anything happen that makes you feel good.
Let's see what happens. It's not about denying when things feel hard. We honor those falls because they show us the way to our joy. They give us information. They help us balance. We just do not let them own us. This is about acknowledging with the same enthusiasm and conviction when things feel good so that just like the falls, we get information and find our balance.
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