by Stephanie F. Earls
I recently reread a favorite book when I took it off my bookshelf to lend to a friend: Steven Pressfield's The War of Art. A quick read, this book has powerful, energizing ideas to help you move through the thing that blocks you on your pursuits of creative endeavors of all kinds: resistance.
Whether your masterpiece is music, painting, a new job, changing your thoughts, healing yourself or the creation of your life the way you have dreamed (in any way), this book will strengthen your resolve and clarify your connection to your pursuit. It is grounded and inspired and will inspire you. Check it out.
18 May 2011
07 May 2011
Healing
by Stephanie F. Earls
Dear Friends,
I want to share with you something that has been really awesome for me and which I hope will inspire you to keep on with your hopes, dreams, wishes...whatever their size.
Lately I have been doing a lot of yoga (as you know) whether it be teaching or studying or playing. I have been able to see my body through to new places, places that always seemed like somewhere "those" people could go, but probably not me.
For 10 years I struggled to enjoy life, weak and sick with Crohn's Colitis. Three years ago, having diarrhea 25 times a day (an underestimate if anything), bleeding from my intestines and finding little relief from medicine, I decided to go "balls to the wall" to heal myself. I know that expression is not so eloquent (can women even use that?) but it's the truth. My back was against the wall, I was tired of managing sickness and committed to heal.
About that time when I changed my mind, my mom gave me a cd set to listen to by Louise Hay. Hay was talking about healing your life and though it struck me a bit corny, I had put my vision so steadfast on healing that anything that seemed remotely relevant got my attention. I decided that each day while I worked out on my dad's elliptical machine I would listen to the cds and try anything she suggested (because she had healed her life).
She had one exercise that struck me. She said if I really wanted to heal I had to be willing to change because my current patterns were not keeping me well. The exercise, which I still use from time to time, was to put your hand on your throat (a creative and expressive energy center), look in the mirror, into your own eyes and repeat three times, "I am willing to change." I took her seriously and did the exercise, but wondered, what possibly could change in my life? She warned...be ready, things will change. I could not imagine.
Within six months my then 11 1/2 year marriage began to dissolve. Within a year I was gathering lots of new information, learning how to take care of myself and my kids in a new way and how to share my skills. I trained as a birth doula and started my certification to teach yoga. Within a year and a half my health started to change and I began to carve a niche for myself professionally. Within two years I was divorced, teaching more and within two and a half years I settled into teaching, advanced my healing work and launched my website.
Now, three years later, sparked at a recent yoga workshop (part of my 500hr yoga teacher training) I got the chance to see how far I've come. At this workshop I saw my body through to some amazing places, postures I once only dreamed of attempting I was now expressing. It was empowering, exciting, humbling. But most of all it was a gift, and not because of any fancy position I could put myself into, but because for 8 hours I could participate in a workshop. I could listen, observe, attempt, experience, fall, laugh, cry, share, attempt again, listen more, rest, absorb....have lunch and come back for more. And not once did I get up to have diarrhea or feel a stomach cramp or bleed, or experience any anxiety connected to living with chronic dis-ease. It stopped me in my tracks. I started to see all the places I have been able to grow (teaching, road trips, lunch with friends, time at the beach, airplane rides, walking my dog....) without a care about dis-ease.
I am healthy, strong, vibrant. My stomach is at ease, no cramps, no panic, no hurried trips to the bathroom, no bleeding intestines.
My body has become my friend. And, as much as I use my body and find new ways to express my spirit, my body has in a way become irrelevant. When I was sick, my whole life revolved around my bowels. Even if I put on a good face, every thought, every move, every trip, every bite, every bit of rest revolved around what my bowels were doing. Three years later they are not a thought. And the more strong and capable my body has become, the less I actually think about it, the less I plan around it,....the more I enjoy it.
This has been a gift for me which I am eternally grateful for and thank the stars, god and the people who have seen me through to this place.
But for all the support around me, it is a gift that I had to find in myself, being willing and committed and then, practicing, day in, day out. And I am not talking about yoga asana. I am talking about believing I could heal, being willing to change, believing I could live a better life, and keeping my thoughts committed to that venture.
Were there days in the last three years that I was not sure? Of course. But I kept my thoughts on my goal. And I remembered, I could at least change my thoughts in relation to my disease and at most, accept the encouragement of those who had faith in me when I felt unsure.
If you are trying to change something in your life or create a wish come true, whether it be your health or your state of mind or a situation, I hope you can read this and feel some strength, some resolve and some faith in yourself. You can do it. Just decide. Once you decide everything you need around you to support your decision will appear, like magic. Some things may be in disguise but they will be there to strengthen you and show you your path. I know this. If you are doubtful, use my words, use the energy I write this with, to carry you through your doubt. I promise. You can heal, you can have what you want in life, you can create, you can enjoy.
Now don't take my word for it. Try it.
Love, Steph
Dear Friends,
I want to share with you something that has been really awesome for me and which I hope will inspire you to keep on with your hopes, dreams, wishes...whatever their size.
Lately I have been doing a lot of yoga (as you know) whether it be teaching or studying or playing. I have been able to see my body through to new places, places that always seemed like somewhere "those" people could go, but probably not me.
For 10 years I struggled to enjoy life, weak and sick with Crohn's Colitis. Three years ago, having diarrhea 25 times a day (an underestimate if anything), bleeding from my intestines and finding little relief from medicine, I decided to go "balls to the wall" to heal myself. I know that expression is not so eloquent (can women even use that?) but it's the truth. My back was against the wall, I was tired of managing sickness and committed to heal.
About that time when I changed my mind, my mom gave me a cd set to listen to by Louise Hay. Hay was talking about healing your life and though it struck me a bit corny, I had put my vision so steadfast on healing that anything that seemed remotely relevant got my attention. I decided that each day while I worked out on my dad's elliptical machine I would listen to the cds and try anything she suggested (because she had healed her life).
She had one exercise that struck me. She said if I really wanted to heal I had to be willing to change because my current patterns were not keeping me well. The exercise, which I still use from time to time, was to put your hand on your throat (a creative and expressive energy center), look in the mirror, into your own eyes and repeat three times, "I am willing to change." I took her seriously and did the exercise, but wondered, what possibly could change in my life? She warned...be ready, things will change. I could not imagine.
Within six months my then 11 1/2 year marriage began to dissolve. Within a year I was gathering lots of new information, learning how to take care of myself and my kids in a new way and how to share my skills. I trained as a birth doula and started my certification to teach yoga. Within a year and a half my health started to change and I began to carve a niche for myself professionally. Within two years I was divorced, teaching more and within two and a half years I settled into teaching, advanced my healing work and launched my website.
Now, three years later, sparked at a recent yoga workshop (part of my 500hr yoga teacher training) I got the chance to see how far I've come. At this workshop I saw my body through to some amazing places, postures I once only dreamed of attempting I was now expressing. It was empowering, exciting, humbling. But most of all it was a gift, and not because of any fancy position I could put myself into, but because for 8 hours I could participate in a workshop. I could listen, observe, attempt, experience, fall, laugh, cry, share, attempt again, listen more, rest, absorb....have lunch and come back for more. And not once did I get up to have diarrhea or feel a stomach cramp or bleed, or experience any anxiety connected to living with chronic dis-ease. It stopped me in my tracks. I started to see all the places I have been able to grow (teaching, road trips, lunch with friends, time at the beach, airplane rides, walking my dog....) without a care about dis-ease.
I am healthy, strong, vibrant. My stomach is at ease, no cramps, no panic, no hurried trips to the bathroom, no bleeding intestines.
My body has become my friend. And, as much as I use my body and find new ways to express my spirit, my body has in a way become irrelevant. When I was sick, my whole life revolved around my bowels. Even if I put on a good face, every thought, every move, every trip, every bite, every bit of rest revolved around what my bowels were doing. Three years later they are not a thought. And the more strong and capable my body has become, the less I actually think about it, the less I plan around it,....the more I enjoy it.
This has been a gift for me which I am eternally grateful for and thank the stars, god and the people who have seen me through to this place.
But for all the support around me, it is a gift that I had to find in myself, being willing and committed and then, practicing, day in, day out. And I am not talking about yoga asana. I am talking about believing I could heal, being willing to change, believing I could live a better life, and keeping my thoughts committed to that venture.
Were there days in the last three years that I was not sure? Of course. But I kept my thoughts on my goal. And I remembered, I could at least change my thoughts in relation to my disease and at most, accept the encouragement of those who had faith in me when I felt unsure.
If you are trying to change something in your life or create a wish come true, whether it be your health or your state of mind or a situation, I hope you can read this and feel some strength, some resolve and some faith in yourself. You can do it. Just decide. Once you decide everything you need around you to support your decision will appear, like magic. Some things may be in disguise but they will be there to strengthen you and show you your path. I know this. If you are doubtful, use my words, use the energy I write this with, to carry you through your doubt. I promise. You can heal, you can have what you want in life, you can create, you can enjoy.
Now don't take my word for it. Try it.
Love, Steph
20 April 2011
Transitions: Being There While You Get There
by Stephanie F. Earls
At the start of a recent vacation I found myself split. My body was amidst warm air, looking at palm trees, but my mind was in the snow tending to unfinished conversations and tasks that I'd left behind in the body. Has this ever happened to you?
There are basic transitions like going from here to there. There are emotional or spiritual transitions that affect us more deeply. It might be when a loved one dies or a relationship changes or a job is lost or our body changes. Something happens to shake us from one place and usher us into someplace new. Our feelings come to us face to face whether we are reluctant or willing, asking for our attention.
At the start of a recent vacation I found myself split. My body was amidst warm air, looking at palm trees, but my mind was in the snow tending to unfinished conversations and tasks that I'd left behind in the body. Has this ever happened to you?
For two days I wandered around my vacation a little distracted until I started to get frustrated as I became aware that I was not in the present moment. I started to look at the split and I realized that I'd glossed over the transition. Overwhelmed with packing and reluctant to fly I wanted to just "get there" and relax. At the same time I had things undone at home and was trying to work them out in my head. My body flew to vacation but my mind stayed home. I went through the motions.
Much of life is transition, we change from one place to another, one role to another, one state of mind to another even one breath to another. And how often do we relish the space of change as much as the place we have just left or the place we are about to arrive?
Whether it's work to home, home to vacation, sad to happy or inhale to exhale, if we are looking forward our minds can get fixated on "getting there". If we are reluctant our minds might cling to the place we were, making it hard to let go.
There are basic transitions like going from here to there. There are emotional or spiritual transitions that affect us more deeply. It might be when a loved one dies or a relationship changes or a job is lost or our body changes. Something happens to shake us from one place and usher us into someplace new. Our feelings come to us face to face whether we are reluctant or willing, asking for our attention.
It can be uncomfortable to sit with transitions and the feelings (positive and negative) that come with them: uncertainty, self doubt, wonder, hope, anticipation. Just like sitting on a plane or in an airport terminal (actually not terminal at all), we look for distractions. We just want to "get there". If we are sad or angry and want to be happy, we want to get over it and "get there". If we are sick we just want to "get there" and be healthy. But in this space between is our work.
Having two days of not really "being there" when I "got there" on vacation was a good reminder that a little awareness and engagement during transitional times actually helps us arrive authentically, aligned: mind, body and spirit. As we navigate our life transitions consider that being there while we are getting there can be the magic that gets us here at all: completely.
Having two days of not really "being there" when I "got there" on vacation was a good reminder that a little awareness and engagement during transitional times actually helps us arrive authentically, aligned: mind, body and spirit. As we navigate our life transitions consider that being there while we are getting there can be the magic that gets us here at all: completely.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
60 Second Practice: A lesson in graceful transitions from your breath:
60 Second Practice: A lesson in graceful transitions from your breath:
The most simple and beautiful transition of all is a magical place between the in breath and the out breath. When we bring our consciousness to that space the magic can be realized. Use your breath here and practice being aware of transitions. Take the next 60 seconds just noticing the space (even if it is a mili-second) where your breath in completes and becomes your breath out. Then again notice where your breath out completes and becomes your breath in. No need to change anything and no judgement. For 60 seconds, right here at your desk or kitchen table or in your car (as long as you're parked!) just notice the transition between the breath and how perfectly and naturally your body releases the old and floats to the new.
18 April 2011
Where There Is Love...
one of my favorites....
"Where there is love, there is a beauty that cannot be described, a strength that cannot be broken, a joy that cannot be surpassed, for where there is love, there is god."
"Where there is love, there is a beauty that cannot be described, a strength that cannot be broken, a joy that cannot be surpassed, for where there is love, there is god."
12 April 2011
Looking at the Sun
by Stephanie F. Earls
I recently had a birthday. On that day I decided to look directly at the life giving, cleansing, guiding light of ours: the sun. Might not sound like much to you but for me it was symbolic, one of those things I was always told not to do, and I never really knew why and not sure I believed the scary stories I was told about what would happen. I wondered if I did not look at the sun for my own good or someone else's.
Well that day while sailing in the Caribbean, thinking I could live my whole life and never really know what it looks like to look at the sun - maybe the feeling of another year gone by, maybe the thrill of being in such vibrant light, I thought, what do I have to lose? (Ok, I hear you all, I could lose my eyesight....I know...my dad made sure to detail the process of burning a hole in the retina when he heard I did this.) Anyway, I took matters into my own hands, uh, eyes and looked. Yes, right at the sun. Multiple times.
And you know what? I can still see. (thank god)
Setting aside the momentary rebellion, the cool thing is, as volatile as our minds can be, debating on whether or not to do things, rethinking what we just did, or contemplating what we have been told by others, the body is a perfect back up. The body is always talking to us, giving us feedback about how things around us feel, whether they are healthy for us or not. Our bodies protect us. It takes a bit of practice and tuning in for more subtle situations, but for many things the message is clear, just like a gut feeling.
In the case of looking at the sun, the eyes start to water and reflexes shut the lids. As strong as the urge to look comes the urge to look away. And I admit, I pushed it a little, my mind challenging my body and the light, desiring to SEE it as much as I feel it. But my body won out. The eyes, the body protects itself.
So, bring the mind and body together. Listen to your body. If you feel tired, take it easy. If your belly fills up, stop eating. If your eyes hurt looking at the sun, close them. If you push it to an extreme your body will give you extreme signals. Trust yourself. It's just like it feels.
I recently had a birthday. On that day I decided to look directly at the life giving, cleansing, guiding light of ours: the sun. Might not sound like much to you but for me it was symbolic, one of those things I was always told not to do, and I never really knew why and not sure I believed the scary stories I was told about what would happen. I wondered if I did not look at the sun for my own good or someone else's.
Well that day while sailing in the Caribbean, thinking I could live my whole life and never really know what it looks like to look at the sun - maybe the feeling of another year gone by, maybe the thrill of being in such vibrant light, I thought, what do I have to lose? (Ok, I hear you all, I could lose my eyesight....I know...my dad made sure to detail the process of burning a hole in the retina when he heard I did this.) Anyway, I took matters into my own hands, uh, eyes and looked. Yes, right at the sun. Multiple times.
And you know what? I can still see. (thank god)
Setting aside the momentary rebellion, the cool thing is, as volatile as our minds can be, debating on whether or not to do things, rethinking what we just did, or contemplating what we have been told by others, the body is a perfect back up. The body is always talking to us, giving us feedback about how things around us feel, whether they are healthy for us or not. Our bodies protect us. It takes a bit of practice and tuning in for more subtle situations, but for many things the message is clear, just like a gut feeling.
In the case of looking at the sun, the eyes start to water and reflexes shut the lids. As strong as the urge to look comes the urge to look away. And I admit, I pushed it a little, my mind challenging my body and the light, desiring to SEE it as much as I feel it. But my body won out. The eyes, the body protects itself.
So, bring the mind and body together. Listen to your body. If you feel tired, take it easy. If your belly fills up, stop eating. If your eyes hurt looking at the sun, close them. If you push it to an extreme your body will give you extreme signals. Trust yourself. It's just like it feels.
31 March 2011
Engage
by Stephanie F. Earls
One of the things I do to stay well is talk therapy. Arriving for an appointment is as therapeutic as the talk itself.
One of the things I do to stay well is talk therapy. Arriving for an appointment is as therapeutic as the talk itself.
A visit begins when you pull alongside the oversized Victorian house on a cramped street. You have to take big steps up onto the porch and read the sign to remind yourself to use the door on the left. You pull open the screen door and next to a plastic button there is a sign that says "ring bell and then enter". Once you ring the bell your hand falls to the knob, so humungous it expands your palm and requires a long, slow turn. As the latch releases, the weight and height of the oversized door become more apparent. It opens slow and smooth with a long creek and once inside, the door and another sign require you to turn the knob and push the door shut. Now between two doors, one just shut, the next not yet open you must again turn a big knob and enter the house through this inner door with the same deliberate movements, intentional knob turning and door shutting. There is a feeling that you are entering another world altogether sometimes. The house, it's space, is of another time; dark wood, old windows, high ceilings and these doors the size of giants.
I have been going there for two years and am still in awe at how the mere act of entering this house demands you be in the present moment. It requires you engage in the here and now, just to get IN, fittingly so since it's a path to healing, and how can we heal or grow if we can not be here now. This house has a magic about it that gently commands your body to be here so much that your mind has no choice but to join.
This same healing aspect, being in your present moment, is what I love about yoga, union: bringing together mind, body and spirit. It is what helps us to heal, engaging ourselves on the physical level and becoming aware of what our bodies are doing; how and why. Becoming conscious of ourselves is the path to healing. Whether on our mat or at our job, with friends or cleaning the house, we have the choice to go through the motions or truly engage. There may be days when being present is a challenge and showing up is the best we can do. Do it. There may be days when being present is so natural that we break through our blocks. Celebrate it. There may be days when all we have are more questions and confusion. Accept it.
There's no "winning" yoga, same goes for life (there might be a famous guy out there who disagrees ;) and our job is just to show up, turn the knob and open the door. Maybe we feel relief, maybe we don't, but if we are here and pay attention then at least we know how we feel and can be our own best friend. We will have been present, the place where the eternal, the infinite, dwells. It is the place where the doors, no matter how big, begin to open with our deliberate intention, showing us our path.
01 March 2011
Connect
by Stephanie F. Earls
A few days ago I took my kids to the bookstore. My oldest son brought along a personal computer game because he wanted to see if he could connect via wifi to other people playing the game he was playing. As we walked around the store he watched the little machine, taking note of how many bars he had...2, now 3, now 2, now 1. We made our way into the back of the store and while I was looking at something I heard his little voice saying, "connect, connect, connect", almost begging for his game to find other players.
It made me laugh a little because I have had moments like that where my technology lapses...cable modem freezes up or my cell phone does not get service and I am trying to connect.
It can be frustrating, we want to reach out and find eachother....blogs, facebook, telephone, emails. But, if electricity goes out or nothing's coming through, we feel alone. We sit there saying, "connect, connect, connect".
At our core, as much as we value our individuality, we also crave the connection to others, to community and most of all, to ourselves. We long for feeling connected, in touch, alive.
So how do we do it? You can be in a room of 100 people and feel totally alone. You can be sitting next to your best friend and feel alone. You can have your internet connection working perfectly: twitter, facebook, email functioning but no one to talk to. Isolated. So what is it we are truly after? Is it a working wifi connection or a working connection to ourselves?
Maybe in the moments when technology bogs up or phones don't ring is our chance, a little space to listen to ourselves...our heart, our soul, our bodies. Yoga does this for me, for you it could be taking a nap or running a few miles or creating art. It is the time we turn inside and just listen. Maybe what we hear sounds sweet, maybe bitter. It does not really matter. What matters is the listening. In listening we connect. We connect to ourselves, our own inner voice, guidance, wisdom. We connect to our knowingness. It's not about whether it's good or bad, light or dark, happy or sad...it's about that we pay attention and answer our spirit's call to connect. Just like us, our spirit is hanging out saying "connect, connect, connect" and all we need to do is put up a little signal saying, "I'm here". Then as we listen, we learn, we know better. When we know better we offer a more pure version of ourselves in everything we do. It's not whether we behave or get in trouble. It's not whether we feel tired or invigorated. It's not whether we are happy or totally pissed. It's about just taking the time to listen and be here, to be our own best friend, to be our connection. And through that connection comes the life, the inspiration and the strength to guide us to and through every other connection we make.
Listen to your spirit. Grant it's wish. Connect, connect, connect.
A few days ago I took my kids to the bookstore. My oldest son brought along a personal computer game because he wanted to see if he could connect via wifi to other people playing the game he was playing. As we walked around the store he watched the little machine, taking note of how many bars he had...2, now 3, now 2, now 1. We made our way into the back of the store and while I was looking at something I heard his little voice saying, "connect, connect, connect", almost begging for his game to find other players.
It made me laugh a little because I have had moments like that where my technology lapses...cable modem freezes up or my cell phone does not get service and I am trying to connect.
It can be frustrating, we want to reach out and find eachother....blogs, facebook, telephone, emails. But, if electricity goes out or nothing's coming through, we feel alone. We sit there saying, "connect, connect, connect".
At our core, as much as we value our individuality, we also crave the connection to others, to community and most of all, to ourselves. We long for feeling connected, in touch, alive.
So how do we do it? You can be in a room of 100 people and feel totally alone. You can be sitting next to your best friend and feel alone. You can have your internet connection working perfectly: twitter, facebook, email functioning but no one to talk to. Isolated. So what is it we are truly after? Is it a working wifi connection or a working connection to ourselves?
Maybe in the moments when technology bogs up or phones don't ring is our chance, a little space to listen to ourselves...our heart, our soul, our bodies. Yoga does this for me, for you it could be taking a nap or running a few miles or creating art. It is the time we turn inside and just listen. Maybe what we hear sounds sweet, maybe bitter. It does not really matter. What matters is the listening. In listening we connect. We connect to ourselves, our own inner voice, guidance, wisdom. We connect to our knowingness. It's not about whether it's good or bad, light or dark, happy or sad...it's about that we pay attention and answer our spirit's call to connect. Just like us, our spirit is hanging out saying "connect, connect, connect" and all we need to do is put up a little signal saying, "I'm here". Then as we listen, we learn, we know better. When we know better we offer a more pure version of ourselves in everything we do. It's not whether we behave or get in trouble. It's not whether we feel tired or invigorated. It's not whether we are happy or totally pissed. It's about just taking the time to listen and be here, to be our own best friend, to be our connection. And through that connection comes the life, the inspiration and the strength to guide us to and through every other connection we make.
Listen to your spirit. Grant it's wish. Connect, connect, connect.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)