Transitions: Being There While You Get There

by Stephanie F. Earls

At the start of a recent vacation I found myself split. My body was amidst warm air, looking at palm trees, but my mind was in the snow tending to unfinished conversations and tasks that I'd left behind in the body.  Has this ever happened to you?

For two days I wandered around my vacation a little distracted until I started to get frustrated as I became aware that I was not in the present moment. I started to look at the split and I realized that I'd glossed over the transition. Overwhelmed with packing and reluctant to fly I wanted to just "get there" and relax. At the same time I had things undone at home and was trying to work them out in my head.  My body flew to vacation but my mind stayed home.  I went through the motions. 

Much of life is transition, we change from one place to another, one role to another, one state of mind to another even one breath to another. And how often do we relish the space of change as much as the place we have just left or the place we are about to arrive? 

Whether it's work to home, home to vacation, sad to happy or inhale to exhale, if we are looking forward our minds can get fixated on "getting there". If we are reluctant our minds might cling to the place we were, making it hard to let go.

There are basic transitions like going from here to there.  There are emotional or spiritual transitions that affect us more deeply. It might be when a loved one dies or a relationship changes or a job is lost or our body changes. Something happens to shake us from one place and usher us into someplace new. Our feelings come to us face to face whether we are reluctant or willing, asking for our attention.

It can be uncomfortable to sit with transitions and the feelings (positive and negative) that come with them: uncertainty, self doubt, wonder, hope, anticipation. Just like sitting on a plane or in an airport terminal (actually not terminal at all), we look for distractions. We just want to "get there". If we are sad or angry and want to be happy, we want to get over it and "get there".  If we are sick we just want to "get there" and be healthy. But in this space between is our work.

Having two days of not really "being there" when I "got there" on vacation was a good reminder that a little awareness and engagement during transitional times actually helps us arrive authentically, aligned: mind, body and spirit. As we navigate our life transitions consider that being there while we are getting there can be the magic that gets us here at all: completely.

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60 Second Practice:  A lesson in graceful transitions from your breath:

The most simple and beautiful transition of all is a magical place between the in breath and the out breath.  When we bring our consciousness to that space the magic can be realized. Use your breath here and practice being aware of transitions. Take the next 60 seconds just noticing the space (even if it is a mili-second) where your breath in completes and becomes your breath out. Then again notice where your breath out completes and becomes your breath in. No need to change anything and no judgement. For 60 seconds, right here at your desk or kitchen table or in your car (as long as you're parked!) just notice the transition between the breath and how perfectly and naturally your body releases the old and floats to the new.  

Where There Is Love...

one of my favorites....

"Where there is love, there is a beauty that cannot be described, a strength that cannot be broken, a joy that cannot be surpassed, for where there is love, there is god."

Looking at the Sun

by Stephanie F. Earls

I recently had a birthday. On that day I decided to look directly at the life giving, cleansing, guiding light of ours: the sun.  Might not sound like much to you but for me it was symbolic, one of those things I was always told not to do, and I never really knew why and not sure I believed the scary stories I was told about what would happen.  I wondered if I did not look at the sun for my own good or someone else's.

Well that day while sailing in the Caribbean, thinking I could live my whole life and never really know what it looks like to look at the sun - maybe the feeling of another year gone by, maybe the thrill of being in such vibrant light, I thought, what do I have to lose? (Ok, I hear you all, I could lose my eyesight....I know...my dad made sure to detail the process of burning a hole in the retina when he heard I did this.) Anyway,  I took matters into my own hands, uh, eyes and looked. Yes, right at the sun. Multiple times.

And you know what? I can still see.  (thank god)

Setting aside the momentary rebellion, the cool thing is, as volatile as our minds can be, debating on whether or not to do things, rethinking what we just did, or contemplating what we have been told by others, the body is a perfect back up. The body is always talking to us, giving us feedback about how things around us feel, whether they are healthy for us or not.  Our bodies protect us. It takes a bit of practice and tuning in for more subtle situations, but for many things the message is clear, just like a gut feeling.

In the case of looking at the sun, the eyes start to water and reflexes shut the lids. As strong as the urge to look comes the urge to look away. And I admit, I pushed it a little, my mind challenging my body and the light, desiring to SEE it as much as I feel it. But my body won out. The eyes, the body protects itself.

So, bring the  mind and body together. Listen to your body.  If you feel tired, take it easy. If your belly fills up, stop eating. If your eyes hurt looking at the sun, close them.  If you push it to an extreme your body will give you extreme signals. Trust yourself. It's just like it feels.