by Stephanie F. Earls
At the end of a recent yoga class a client asked me about a challenging pose. She noticed over time in her practice that this pose, which was at first very challenging, became easier and now had become challenging again.
This is a very common occurrence in yoga, and in life, causing us to ask if we have gone backward or if it is part of the path. The question gets to the heart of why we practice anything and how dedicating ourselves to the things that are important to us (running, yoga, a job, a relationship) is both revealing and revolutionary. With practice we experience ebbs and flows of challenge and discomfort. There are days these fluctuations inspire us. There are days we become discouraged. However if we step back enough we see that the ebbs and flows of ease and effort are really just chances to get information, make space and cultivate relationship with ourselves or our passion or our partner. And the answers to whether we have done right for ourselves, whether we have moved forward or back, come only with practice, repetition, consistency: time.
With practice, resistance shows up. It might be a tight muscle, fatigue, lack of inspiration or anger. If we give it time (dedication) and engage with the challenge mindfully and compassionately we become more clear about how we are doing. This doesn't mean it's easy. But with clear intention and commitment, we find places where we have room to move, room to breathe, a chance to grow.
When we find these spaces it feels like success and we enjoy it, settling for a bit: repeating the mileage, revisiting the pose, enjoying the relationship. We let ourselves be comfortable. And very naturally in time, the body, or the mind, or the spirit starts to realize that there is more room for growth, more space to be made, more happiness to feel, more strength to build. When this happens a new spot of resistance, a new tightness, a new fear, floats to the surface. At a superficial glance this can intimidate us into giving up or thinking (incorrectly) that we have gone backward and lost our growth. Yet if we stay put and look with soft eyes and an open heart at the resistance, we begin to discern whether what has come up is a dead end (and time for us to let go) or a place in need of a little time, a little love, a little understanding, a new perspective.
So we inquire. We ask if resistance is something yielding or unyielding. In yoga there are poses where bone structure will stop our body from moving forward. In running, resistance could be a sprained ankle. These forms of resistance are almost non-negotiable and must be honored. We practice safely or stop and rest. Yet when resistance is potentially malleable as in an under stretched muscle, lack of hydration or an untrue thought process, it is up to us to be patient. We can stretch, get a glass of water, breathe, or open our mind to a new perspective.
This is yoga, this is metaphor. This is relationship.
The answers about whether we have hit a dead end or a new layer of change only come with practice, repetition, consistency: time. In time, everything but the essential falls away. In time you are left with what is real, what is pure, what is true. Because the truth has staying power.
Some call this Love.
So with intention and dedication, our relationships to our passion, our person, our partner, are on-going. They live in and inform us. They bring us face to face with resistance, showing us where we have become tight and can grow. When we engage with what is, they open us up and inspire us, showing us how to be the best version of ourselves, which we might never have imagined on our own.
This Sunday marks my parents' 40th wedding anniversary, an embodiment of this notion about yoga which illustrates my point better than showing any asana. They have practiced a tough pose and had it feel challenging, then easy, and challenging again as they cultivated deeper levels of understanding. They have hit the wall in their run and have also finished a few marathons. My parents have weathered the storms and sailed the calm seas of birth and death, sickness and health, joy and pain, discontent and elation. They have shown that while much of what it means to find partnership hinges on several key elements, the paramount element is time. Their relationship illustrates that despite how anticipatory we are to know the outcome of new endeavors or old habits (Will this pose get easier? Will I finish the marathon? Will this relationship last?), the truth is revealed only through practice, repetition, consistency: time.
This week we honor my parents and the commitment that began like any yoga practice or marathon training: with an intention. Their intention was spoken in word and has evolved into life. It is a commitment they have lived and practiced and continue to live each day, some days with room to breathe and feel strong, some days restrictive and frustrating. But string 40 years of days-in and days-out together and you get a chance like we get this week: to celebrate!
They (and we) get a chance to look at what has been created, each in their own practice and then sharing it with each other and weaving together a life of love that is irreplaceable. Their relationship is a testament of time, with evidence to show for it in the people they've brought into the world and the love they share each day in their work, their play and their rest.
Take a look at what you have put your intentions toward. Notice which commitments (to yourself and to others) you have practiced with consistency, repetition, over time. What can you celebrate? Maybe it's a partnership, maybe it's a passion, maybe it's a new perspective. Surely over time you have found that not just despite but because of resistance (and your compassionate response to it) you have opened up new understanding. Maybe you run another mile. Maybe you find new space in your poses. Maybe you know yourself better. Celebrate!
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| sfe- summer love 2012 |
This is yoga. This is metaphor. This is relationship.
This is Love.
