our marathon; our manifesto

by Stephanie F. Earls 

We woke up on Marathon Monday with trust: in a beautiful day, in an amazing event and in our community.  We woke with trust in the race, the human race. And in some twisted turn of events on this day of celebration, we mourned. On this day of anticipated elation, we grieved loss. This happy day had too much sadness. These are the moments in life that leave us perplexed. How can such intense love, joy, fulfillment of dreams and culmination of hard work, be juxtaposed with fear, chaos, disorientation and hijacked goals? 

We may not have each run a marathon road race, but each of us has run a marathon of our own. We are still running. We know how it feels to reach some goals and have others feel unattainable. We have set our intentions. We've started and plan to finish. We have healed dis-ease. We have mended addiction. We have endured the loss of loved ones to death or aborted relationships. We have grieved the loss of dreams and expectations. We have made wishes. There have been times when our external finish lines (our hopes) disappeared. There have been times when we crossed those lines, reached our goal, and the thrill was thwarted by something out of our control.  There have been times when distraction has tried to sway our attention. There are times we are inspired. There are times we are afraid. Sometimes our goal looks different than it did while training, than it did when the race began. Than we ever imagined.  And yet, undeniably, we are here. This is our path. We are on it. The question is really, regardless of the outcome, how will we take each step? This is life. 

We will trust life.

If it happens as we live and claim our dreams, that darkness pops up,  we will stay strong.  We will transform the challenge of distraction and clarify our intentions. We will not be defeated by delay. We will refocus and keep our sights on what is at the heart of our matter.

We're all in it now. Just like each runner today, we each have our own personal marathon and collectively something bigger which includes those who cheer us on and those who divert our attention or rob us of something we hope for.  As we marathon to let our spirit through, to let light and hope prevail, it's not just the runners and spectators in Boston today. It's all of us. The world. We're in this race where spirit, strength and light are taking the lead. We are shining and lifting each other up. Darkness is exerting its

Copley Square Sky early April 2013: sfe

last attempts, not just to distract us but to encourage us. With each dark distraction we are asked on some level to recommit and refocus our intention. We are also asked to shine our light and heal the dark. What wins in this human race? There is power in numbers and most of us, lit up, are strong enough to shed our light on the dark and help it heal.  So here's what we do. Not despite darkness, but to transform it: 

We make wishes. We set intentions.  We hope.  

We set our wishes free so that they can manifest. We believe wishes come true. We trust that life, as it unfolds, in all it's clarity and confusion, will yield the answers to our questions, the fulfillment of wishes, the realization of our intentions. Even if it doesn't make sense right now. Especially if it doesn't make sense right now. We trust that things unfold in the best time and in the best way, for our best. We trust that life and love prevail. We love. We love ourselves, our light and our dark. We love all that nourishes us and we love all that hurts (in ourselves and others) so that the hurt heals.  We love the dark and bring it our light. We keep renewing our commitment to ourselves, our life, our hopes. We keep lifting our intention.

This is faith. We keep the faith.

Anything that is truly ours can not be taken away.  By anything. 

As much as 'our wishes come true' rest at that apparent finish line, they also rest deep inside of us. They rest in each and every step along the path. They rest in our resolve to wake up each day and live because we are alive.  They rest in our resolve to keep on wishing. They rest in our ability to reclaim the light when darkness threatens to take it over. Our 'wishes come true' rest in opening our hearts and sharing our strength to nourish those who feel defeated. Our 'wishes come true' rest in opening our hearts to receive the help we need. Our 'wishes come true' rest in looking at all the ways we triumph and keeping our sights on those triumphs (big and small) rather than on distractions (big and small). Our 'wishes come true' rest in the spirit of marathon (LIFE), realizing it goes on.  Our 'wishes come true' rest in the determination of a WORLD of people who despite it all, and in light of it all, wake up and trust. 

keep the faith, everyone. our light prevails. the spirit of marathon (LIFE) will endure. love energy leads our way, always.  love, steph

Mending

by Stephanie F. Earls

it's been 

t...h...i...s

long

and i can't (don't want to) remember

if you are coming back

or not

because somewhere along the way

my heart and my head

mixed each other up

again.

(even though i swore i would be careful)

right now i know this:

when i see your face

my heart still leaps 

(even though you told me to be careful)

and when i dream

i see your feet 

(seriously?)

but not just 

see...

feel

and not just

feel...

know

know

like they are my feet

and how could they not be here?

a part of (parting) my legs

when i wake,

everything's together

despite distance

because 

somewhere along the way 

when our hearts 

mixed each other up,

so did

your feet and mine

and your smile and mine

and your laugh and mine

and your wine and mine

and your hands and mine

and your back and mine

and your touch and mine

and your taste and mine

and your song and mine

then your past and mine

(even though we tried to be careful)

so

t...h...i...s

is 

what it is.

all of yours                                                 there 

all of mine           here 

i am left writing out words
you are left ironing out wrinkles

and in good hope,
for us,

a mending.

of all of yours and all of mine

because 

each kiss left undone

is still trying to complete itself

because

without a mend 

the hole frays

(be careful)

sew in heart tender gestures 

toward this mend

yours or mine, 

both of ours

because 

somewhere along the way

our hearts and our heads 

mixed each other up 

(we were care-full)

.

.

.

.

(to hell with being careful)

it's clear now 

to my head,

only a heart 

that knows it's love

would dream of feet

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Purification

by Stephanie F. Earls

you made  a wish

and it came true

she is 

your present 

your possibilities

your answered prayer

path prepared; boston, ma: sfe 12/1/12

but your fear erupts and 

in her

you see 

your past

so you posture,

preventing progress

if you must linger

on that death 

at least permit

her presence

to pacify 

your precautions

your presumptions

your puncture

then perhaps

you will 

prepare a path

where when your 

'wishes come true' appear

they can proclaim

their potential

their pulse

their passion

their preciousness

your pleasure

and perhaps 

in time

you

-precarious wounds and all-

will patch,

unleashing

potent character 

pliability

perfection 

peace 

thanks to your (her)

perseverance

and maybe your (her)

participation?...

certainly your (her)

patience

because if you do 

permit 

this potential

then even 

if 

she passes

from your perspective,

her promise lives

and the

prosperity

of your wishes come true

will emerge more 

prominent 

than your 

primal 

pain

you made a wish

and it came true

pay attention.

and the storm comes

sandy storm: sfe 10/29/12

by Stephanie F. Earls


it's scary now, in this unknown
where things once set are being blown
and change rolls in whether wanted or not
challenging us to stay open in heart

hunker down or evacuate?
so unsettling not to know our fate
as winds blow deep and broad and long
our will is asked to yoke soft with strong

and sit with patience, staying still
while chaos dances at our sill
i protect mine, you protect yours
it's true: they say, when it rains, it pours

a breaking down will clear the old
perhaps to rebuild with a better mold
but for now unclear we wait and see
which way the storm will let us be

a bit of faith and belief in love

boston sun: sfe 10/20/12

to calm the storm from up above
so walls that keep us safe and dry
one day yield when the time is right

now through the darkness of foreign night
an offered prayer that what is, is right
and tomorrow the sun will shine serene
to show us the way back to each other again

In Time: On Yoga and Marriage

for my parents, STE and JSE
by Stephanie F. Earls


At the end of a recent yoga class a client asked me about a challenging pose. She noticed over time in her practice that this pose, which was at first very challenging, became easier and now had become challenging again.

This is a very common occurrence in yoga, and in life, causing us to ask if we have gone backward or if it is part of the path. The question gets to the heart of why we practice anything and how dedicating ourselves to the things that are important to us (running, yoga, a job, a relationship) is both revealing and revolutionary. With practice we experience ebbs and flows of challenge and discomfort. There are days these fluctuations inspire us. There are days we become discouraged. However if we step back enough we see that the ebbs and flows of ease and effort are really just chances to get information, make space and cultivate relationship with ourselves or our passion or our partner. And the answers to whether we have done right for ourselves, whether we have moved forward or back, come only with practice, repetition, consistency: time.

With practice, resistance shows up. It might be a tight muscle, fatigue, lack of inspiration or anger. If we give it time (dedication) and engage with the challenge mindfully and compassionately we become more clear about how we are doing. This doesn't mean it's easy. But with clear intention and commitment, we find places where we have room to move, room to breathe, a chance to grow.

When we find these spaces it feels like success and we enjoy it, settling for a bit: repeating the mileage, revisiting the pose, enjoying the relationship. We let ourselves be comfortable. And very naturally in time, the body, or the mind, or the spirit starts to realize that there is more room for growth, more space to be made, more happiness to feel, more strength to build. When this happens a new spot of resistance, a new tightness, a new fear, floats to the surface. At a superficial glance this can intimidate us into giving up or thinking (incorrectly) that we have gone backward and lost our growth. Yet if we stay put and look with soft eyes and an open heart at the resistance, we begin to discern whether what has come up is a dead end (and time for us to let go) or a place in need of a little time, a little love, a little understanding, a new perspective.

So we inquire. We ask if resistance is something yielding or unyielding.  In yoga there are poses where bone structure will stop our body from moving forward. In running, resistance could be a sprained ankle.  These forms of resistance are almost non-negotiable and must be honored. We practice safely or stop and rest. Yet when resistance is potentially malleable as in an under stretched muscle, lack of hydration or an untrue thought process, it is up to us to be patient. We can stretch, get a glass of water, breathe, or open our mind to a new perspective.

This is yoga, this is metaphor. This is relationship.

The answers about whether we have hit a dead end or a new layer of change only come with practice, repetition, consistency: time. In time, everything but the essential falls away. In time you are left with what is real, what is pure, what is true.  Because the truth has staying power.

Some call this Love.

So with intention and dedication, our relationships to our passion, our person, our partner, are on-going. They live in and inform us.  They bring us face to face with resistance, showing us where we have become tight and can grow. When we engage with what is, they open us up and inspire us, showing us how to be the best version of ourselves, which we might never have imagined on our own.

This Sunday marks my parents' 40th wedding anniversary, an embodiment of this notion about yoga which illustrates my point better than showing any asana. They have practiced a tough pose and had it feel challenging, then easy, and challenging again as they cultivated deeper levels of understanding. They have hit the wall in their run and have also finished a few marathons.  My parents have weathered the storms and sailed the calm seas of birth and death, sickness and health, joy and pain, discontent and elation. They have shown that while much of what it means to find partnership hinges on several key elements, the paramount element is time. Their relationship illustrates that despite how anticipatory we are to know the outcome of new endeavors or old habits (Will this pose get easier? Will I finish the marathon? Will this relationship last?), the truth is revealed only through practice, repetition, consistency: time.

This week we honor my parents and the commitment that began like any yoga practice or marathon training: with an intention. Their intention was spoken in word and has evolved into life. It is a commitment they have lived and practiced and continue to live each day, some days with room to breathe and feel strong, some days restrictive and frustrating. But string 40 years of days-in and days-out together and you get a chance like we get this week: to celebrate!

They (and we) get a chance to look at what has been created, each in their own practice and then sharing it with each other and weaving together a life of love that is irreplaceable. Their relationship is a testament of time, with evidence to show for it in the people they've brought into the world and the love they share each day in their work, their play and their rest.

Take a look at what you have put your intentions toward. Notice which commitments (to yourself and to others) you have practiced with consistency, repetition, over time. What can you celebrate? Maybe it's a partnership, maybe it's a passion, maybe it's a new perspective. Surely over time you have found that not just despite but because of resistance (and your compassionate response to it) you have opened up new understanding. Maybe you run another mile. Maybe you find new space in your poses. Maybe you know yourself better. Celebrate!

sfe- summer love 2012

Mom and Dad, if yoga means to unite, you are true yogis.  You know yourselves and share with each other.  You extend that sharing to the lives of everyone you know. Time will continue to tell where you go from here. And I salute and cherish you for the people you are, the couple you have become and the example you exude. Better than anyone else I know, you have each other's backs. You are an example for the rewards of practice, repetition, consistency. You show us all there is no substitute for time. You show us the truth and make it possible for us to celebrate.

This is yoga. This is metaphor. This is relationship.

This is Love.