Engage

by Stephanie F. Earls

One of the things I do to stay well is talk therapy. Arriving for an appointment is as therapeutic as the talk itself.

A visit begins when you pull alongside the oversized Victorian house on a cramped street. You have to take big steps up onto the porch and read the sign to remind yourself to use the door on the left.  You pull open the screen door and next to a plastic button there is a sign that says "ring bell and then enter".   Once you ring the bell your hand falls to the knob, so humungous it expands your palm and requires a long, slow turn.  As the latch releases, the weight and height of the oversized door become more apparent. It opens slow and smooth with a long creek and once inside, the door and another sign require you to turn the knob and push the door shut. Now between two doors, one just shut, the next not yet open you must again turn a big knob and enter the house through this inner door with the same deliberate movements, intentional knob turning and door shutting. There is a feeling that you are entering another world altogether sometimes. The house, it's space, is of another time; dark wood, old windows, high ceilings and these doors the size of giants.

I have been going there for two years and am still in awe at how the mere act of entering this house demands you be in the present moment. It requires you engage in the here and now, just to get IN, fittingly so since it's a path to healing,  and how can we heal or grow if we can not be here now. This house has a magic about it that gently commands your body to be here so much that your mind has no choice but to join. 

This same healing aspect, being in your present moment, is what I love about yoga, union: bringing together mind, body and spirit. It is what helps us to heal, engaging ourselves on the physical level and becoming aware of what our bodies are doing; how and why. Becoming conscious of ourselves is the path to healing. Whether on our mat or at our job, with friends or cleaning the house, we have the choice to go through the motions or truly engage.  There may be days when being present is a challenge and showing up is the best we can do. Do it. There may be days when being present is so natural that we break through our blocks. Celebrate it. There may be days when all we have are more questions and confusion. Accept it. 

There's no "winning" yoga, same goes for life (there might be a famous guy out there who disagrees ;) and our job is just to show up, turn the knob and open the door. Maybe we feel relief, maybe we don't,  but if we are here and pay attention then at least we know how we feel and can be our own best friend.  We will have been present, the place where the eternal, the infinite, dwells. It is the place where the doors, no matter how big, begin to open with our deliberate intention, showing us our path.