Purification

by Stephanie F. Earls

you made  a wish

and it came true

she is 

your present 

your possibilities

your answered prayer

path prepared; boston, ma: sfe 12/1/12

but your fear erupts and 

in her

you see 

your past

so you posture,

preventing progress

if you must linger

on that death 

at least permit

her presence

to pacify 

your precautions

your presumptions

your puncture

then perhaps

you will 

prepare a path

where when your 

'wishes come true' appear

they can proclaim

their potential

their pulse

their passion

their preciousness

your pleasure

and perhaps 

in time

you

-precarious wounds and all-

will patch,

unleashing

potent character 

pliability

perfection 

peace 

thanks to your (her)

perseverance

and maybe your (her)

participation?...

certainly your (her)

patience

because if you do 

permit 

this potential

then even 

if 

she passes

from your perspective,

her promise lives

and the

prosperity

of your wishes come true

will emerge more 

prominent 

than your 

primal 

pain

you made a wish

and it came true

pay attention.

and the storm comes

sandy storm: sfe 10/29/12

by Stephanie F. Earls


it's scary now, in this unknown
where things once set are being blown
and change rolls in whether wanted or not
challenging us to stay open in heart

hunker down or evacuate?
so unsettling not to know our fate
as winds blow deep and broad and long
our will is asked to yoke soft with strong

and sit with patience, staying still
while chaos dances at our sill
i protect mine, you protect yours
it's true: they say, when it rains, it pours

a breaking down will clear the old
perhaps to rebuild with a better mold
but for now unclear we wait and see
which way the storm will let us be

a bit of faith and belief in love

boston sun: sfe 10/20/12

to calm the storm from up above
so walls that keep us safe and dry
one day yield when the time is right

now through the darkness of foreign night
an offered prayer that what is, is right
and tomorrow the sun will shine serene
to show us the way back to each other again

In Time: On Yoga and Marriage

for my parents, STE and JSE
by Stephanie F. Earls


At the end of a recent yoga class a client asked me about a challenging pose. She noticed over time in her practice that this pose, which was at first very challenging, became easier and now had become challenging again.

This is a very common occurrence in yoga, and in life, causing us to ask if we have gone backward or if it is part of the path. The question gets to the heart of why we practice anything and how dedicating ourselves to the things that are important to us (running, yoga, a job, a relationship) is both revealing and revolutionary. With practice we experience ebbs and flows of challenge and discomfort. There are days these fluctuations inspire us. There are days we become discouraged. However if we step back enough we see that the ebbs and flows of ease and effort are really just chances to get information, make space and cultivate relationship with ourselves or our passion or our partner. And the answers to whether we have done right for ourselves, whether we have moved forward or back, come only with practice, repetition, consistency: time.

With practice, resistance shows up. It might be a tight muscle, fatigue, lack of inspiration or anger. If we give it time (dedication) and engage with the challenge mindfully and compassionately we become more clear about how we are doing. This doesn't mean it's easy. But with clear intention and commitment, we find places where we have room to move, room to breathe, a chance to grow.

When we find these spaces it feels like success and we enjoy it, settling for a bit: repeating the mileage, revisiting the pose, enjoying the relationship. We let ourselves be comfortable. And very naturally in time, the body, or the mind, or the spirit starts to realize that there is more room for growth, more space to be made, more happiness to feel, more strength to build. When this happens a new spot of resistance, a new tightness, a new fear, floats to the surface. At a superficial glance this can intimidate us into giving up or thinking (incorrectly) that we have gone backward and lost our growth. Yet if we stay put and look with soft eyes and an open heart at the resistance, we begin to discern whether what has come up is a dead end (and time for us to let go) or a place in need of a little time, a little love, a little understanding, a new perspective.

So we inquire. We ask if resistance is something yielding or unyielding.  In yoga there are poses where bone structure will stop our body from moving forward. In running, resistance could be a sprained ankle.  These forms of resistance are almost non-negotiable and must be honored. We practice safely or stop and rest. Yet when resistance is potentially malleable as in an under stretched muscle, lack of hydration or an untrue thought process, it is up to us to be patient. We can stretch, get a glass of water, breathe, or open our mind to a new perspective.

This is yoga, this is metaphor. This is relationship.

The answers about whether we have hit a dead end or a new layer of change only come with practice, repetition, consistency: time. In time, everything but the essential falls away. In time you are left with what is real, what is pure, what is true.  Because the truth has staying power.

Some call this Love.

So with intention and dedication, our relationships to our passion, our person, our partner, are on-going. They live in and inform us.  They bring us face to face with resistance, showing us where we have become tight and can grow. When we engage with what is, they open us up and inspire us, showing us how to be the best version of ourselves, which we might never have imagined on our own.

This Sunday marks my parents' 40th wedding anniversary, an embodiment of this notion about yoga which illustrates my point better than showing any asana. They have practiced a tough pose and had it feel challenging, then easy, and challenging again as they cultivated deeper levels of understanding. They have hit the wall in their run and have also finished a few marathons.  My parents have weathered the storms and sailed the calm seas of birth and death, sickness and health, joy and pain, discontent and elation. They have shown that while much of what it means to find partnership hinges on several key elements, the paramount element is time. Their relationship illustrates that despite how anticipatory we are to know the outcome of new endeavors or old habits (Will this pose get easier? Will I finish the marathon? Will this relationship last?), the truth is revealed only through practice, repetition, consistency: time.

This week we honor my parents and the commitment that began like any yoga practice or marathon training: with an intention. Their intention was spoken in word and has evolved into life. It is a commitment they have lived and practiced and continue to live each day, some days with room to breathe and feel strong, some days restrictive and frustrating. But string 40 years of days-in and days-out together and you get a chance like we get this week: to celebrate!

They (and we) get a chance to look at what has been created, each in their own practice and then sharing it with each other and weaving together a life of love that is irreplaceable. Their relationship is a testament of time, with evidence to show for it in the people they've brought into the world and the love they share each day in their work, their play and their rest.

Take a look at what you have put your intentions toward. Notice which commitments (to yourself and to others) you have practiced with consistency, repetition, over time. What can you celebrate? Maybe it's a partnership, maybe it's a passion, maybe it's a new perspective. Surely over time you have found that not just despite but because of resistance (and your compassionate response to it) you have opened up new understanding. Maybe you run another mile. Maybe you find new space in your poses. Maybe you know yourself better. Celebrate!

sfe- summer love 2012

Mom and Dad, if yoga means to unite, you are true yogis.  You know yourselves and share with each other.  You extend that sharing to the lives of everyone you know. Time will continue to tell where you go from here. And I salute and cherish you for the people you are, the couple you have become and the example you exude. Better than anyone else I know, you have each other's backs. You are an example for the rewards of practice, repetition, consistency. You show us all there is no substitute for time. You show us the truth and make it possible for us to celebrate.

This is yoga. This is metaphor. This is relationship.

This is Love.

Once In A Blue Moon

by Stephanie F. Earls


During this week, today's moon has been filling out, lingering, reminding us even before twilight that this full moon is extra.

It hung soft and sound over the beach on Sunday. Wednesday it hovered, translucent, over town at dinner time. Last night, bright and nearly full it was pink-tinted and floated up over the tree line outside the window of the studio where I teach.  I love how the moon has the ability to stop us in our tracks, hold our gaze and shower light in darkness.  I marvel at how the moon reflects the nourishing, sometimes overwhelming rays of the sun, transforming them into a light which is graceful and pure: serene.  Today the moon is full and though perhaps at sunset it will be tinted pink, being the second full moon of this month, it is a blue moon.

sfe: Maine Sky 8/2012

Full moons represent wish fulfillment. They are dreams coming to fruition.  The blue moon in particular signifies a rare and wonderful occurrence. It is beauty and abundance. It is heaven's token representing YES!  It is mother nature's message telling us that the foundations we have set over the sweet month of August could certainly have rare, wonderful and abundant potential. This full moon is nature's treat: a bonus!

Tonight as the plump moon rises for the second time this month consider which wishes in your life are coming true. Become receptive, like the moon. Listen carefully, look around and within with soft eyes. Notice what is happening in your life, in your mind, in your spirit. Ask yourself if what you see and hear and feel could be wishes coming true. Perhaps they are hopes never uttered but which have been launched on the most sublime level, from your heart. Realize the places where you've felt a little reprieve, an extra smile, a bit of hope. Consider the message in the sky that there is a little extra available to you now if you just take a moment to be still and lift your gaze.

Wishes (in truth and coming true) are subtle, like the moon. They shine gentle light and grace into our lives. Tonight let's take the chance, once in a blue moon, to open our hearts and be available to our wishes come true.  Let's celebrate, say thank you, and ask to see clearly what is happening in our lives.  Nature will surely answer and as we become still and gaze upward, hear her...YES!

Simple Steps Yoga: Anjaneyasana

 by Stephanie F. Earls

In my life yoga is a healing and transformational force. There is a lot to say about that however, brought down to the essential, when I am asked: "Why do you practice yoga?" my answer is always: "Because it feels good!"

In today's and coming entries, I will be talking more directly about practicing Hatha yoga poses: asana. Sometimes the easiest and most obvious way to access a yoga practice is through the body however the foundation of a true yoga practice begins with philosophy and in a nutshell, as we approach a practice from a yoga standpoint, our foundational philosophical premise is ahimsa. This is a sanskrit word which translates to non-harming and which I like to call kindness. This means quite simply: be kind to yourself, do not harm yourself. Be kind in thought and action.  Keeping this foundational notion in mind and heart, whether you are learning a pose here or in a class or you are negotiating a relationship in your life, you will put your wellness (and consequently the wellness of others) at the forefront. And then, even if it is a challenge, you will feel good!  Enjoy!! (that means try it ;)

photo by Miles Paredes

Anjaneyasana 

(Low Lunge/Dragon Pose)

Anjaneyasana is one of my favorite poses for its ability to strengthen, ground, tone and stretch the body.  It encourages space in the hips. It can be done actively or Yin style. 

*From Downward Dog or from hands and knees, step your left foot up between your hands, placing left ankle under left knee.

*Set your right knee down and slide it back behind the right hip enough to feel a slight stretch at the front of the right hip.

*For an active approach press the top of your right foot into the ground or mat and press down and energetically forward with your left foot. This will help engage your core so the torso lifts up off the left thigh. Inhale and lengthen your spine from the base (tail bone) to the crown of your head as if you were standing in Tadasana (mountain pose). Exhale, extend this pose into your arms by reaching toward the sky, along side your ears. Reach through the fingertips and soften the shoulders away from the ears. Lift your gaze while keeping your neck long. 

*For an added stretch to the upper back, press palms together as shown here. Bring your gaze toward your thumbs. Steadying your gaze will help steady your mind.  As your eyes lift, your throat opens and shoulders relax away from the ears. Hold for 3-5 breaths.

*Repeat with right leg forward.

*For a Yin approach to Anjaneyasana (yin name: Dragon Pose) take the shape but let the leg muscles soften while your arms rest on your front thigh.  Or, with legs in place bring your hands to the floor or blocks on either side of your front foot. Let your breath flow.  Use your thoughts to encourage your body to be soft and still. Hold for 3 minutes on each side.

Yin yoga is also Hatha Yoga, part of the asana (physical) practice that is popular today. In a nutshell, the difference between a "yin" practice and a "yang" (or active) practice is that with a yin approach we let the muscles be soft while the body takes the shape. A yin pose is held for several minutes.  This allows the pose to work into the joints, encouraging hydration and regeneration of the joints and connective tissues of the body.

Stay tuned for more and please comment below if you have questions on this or any pose. You're also welcome to email questions/requests to SE.BreatheHere@gmail.com. I'd be glad to answer or blog on your questions or requests!

Grandma

by Stephanie F. Earls


It's the middle of the night, April 27th.  Just a little while ago at 11:11pm I noticed the time and told my parents, "make a wish." I decided to send my wish to Grandma, for her safe and comfy transition to heaven. Two minutes later the phone rang, it was my aunt letting my dad know that things looked imminent. He and Mom dressed and left and I've been sitting here on my bed not sure what to do, not able to sleep.

We sometimes joked about the handful of times she seemed to be dying only to defy the odds and keep going strong. But after six weeks of sleepiness and inconsistent appetite, somehow tonight seems different.

This week I have never seen a lovelier lady. Her light, strength and grace actually overwhelmed me when I was with her, to the point that I felt she was giving me much more comfort than I could ever give her.  Time became irrelevant. I sat with her, held her hands, offered prayers and love but felt so inadequate, almost insignificant in the face of death, and her strong spirit.  I felt enveloped by the love she radiated.   On the most subtle level, though sleepy and still, she seemed completely engaged in whatever process she was in, present for herself, present for me.

Earlier tonight when my dad came home he let me know she had not eaten in two days and we remarked, "it won't be long now." But my kids and I all thought she was probably trying to make it to her birthday (next week, 93). I think we all got the feeling at some points in her life that she was going to try to make it to 100.

Grandma, I don't know what to write or what to do. Tonight feels different and I think you are probably heading off now. I'm waiting for the phone to ring.  My kids are sleeping. I am with them and I am thinking of you. You have shown us a strength and a will to live that inspires me.  You have only headed off from this life on your terms. You have showed me what it means to truly live in the present moment with peace of mind.  These are gifts you've passed to all of us. And getting to be a generation removed from you, I have the added blessing of amazing aunts and uncles and a fantastic dad due in large part to you. As I sat with you this week I looked around the room, probably the most love filled room in the nursing home, and I thought how lucky I am to be a part of this family that you created. I hope you get to see Grampa. I hope whatever you are up to next is as beautiful as you are. I hope I can be like you, unwavering in the face of adversity, lovely beyond words.

Lovers and the Night Sky

Stephanie F. Earls

The winter to spring night sky has been spectacular. For the last month or so, planets have been bright. Venus and Jupiter dance with each other and the moon. And at certain times of night Mars hangs across the way with its orange glow. This week in particular mild New England weather, bare trees and the new moon darkness have created the perfect backdrop for spotting bright planets and constellations. The now slivered crescent moon rests low on the horizon just after dark. Look up!

Photos by Stephanie Earls

It's magical.

LOVERS
Stephanie F. Earls

this eternal dance 

is now exposed

sensuality and knowingness
align then twist 

push then pull

spectacular union

(illuminated illusion?)

this night sky is for lovers and thinkers

healers and dreamers

and not alone,

ambition chases the heady hearts

a tricky follow,

this warrior

leaves lovers 

retreating, igniting

igniting, retreating

again

while underneath

through seemingly silent, barren veins

new life emerges

a sliver

then a rounding,

receptivity mothers this flow

there is no hiding now

no holding back

even darkness cannot mute this dance:

life and light

love and might

hold tight 

or let go

either way

it endures

and you are 

irrelevant

and relevant

powerful

and powerless

hesitant

and unhesitating

you decide
or not

dance or watch

disappear into darkness or light up

this is the place where wishes are made

this quiet dark stillness

this is the place where wishes are fulfilled

this sparkling canopy

this is the place where lovers dance and rest
and find each other

illuminated

spectacular

seen by the ones who look up
felt by the ones who see through the dark

Embracing What IS: The Void

by Stephanie F. Earls


I've been facing a void with this blog: six months uninspired. Not unwilling. Not un-wanting. Just uninspired.  I've asked myself whether I've been too busy with other projects, or if I have nothing to say.  I've wondered whether it's a case of writer's block or worse, if I've fallen into a chronic case of who cares (a.k.a. nothing really matters).

It might be none of these or all of these on any given day but I've realized what it all comes down to is that I love to write and I miss it.  And when you miss something enough, you look for it, even if you fear that all you'll find is a void.

So with longing overriding fear, I face the void and see how much I miss the feeling of words coming together and making sense, unifying my thoughts.  I miss nice, neat, manageable pieces which I can write and edit and tuck away as "finished", or maybe read again someday when life feels messy.

Composer Stephen Sondheim once said something I heard and loved:  "Art is about making order out of chaos." That is exactly what I love about writing, and yoga, and sitting down to dinner with my kids and folding clean clothes. With a little practice, almost anything we call "life" (which can sometimes feel like chaos!) can become art: our minds, bodies, relationships. Depending on our perspective this can feel creative, inspiring, exciting.  Or, it can feel stifling, weighted, confusing.  Either way we all long to express ourselves, to organize, to energize around a focal point, to make art.  If we find things that allow us to make order out of chaos, there is nothing more frustrating than having that outlet turned off.

Studying my void, it's clear, this practice is as good as any. In yoga, in life, we can't get there without being here.  If we want to reach our goal, we have to start where we are. If we long to be somewhere else and forget about right now, we miss the cues our life is giving us about being ourselves....whether it's exploring a yoga pose, starting a career, healing our body, repairing a relationship or, posting a blog entry. We gingerly find a balance between aspiring toward a goal and setting that aspiration free so that we can be here now, open to the information available in the moment which shows us ourselves clearly.

No one wins yoga or life or art. There's no "end," no "getting there." It's just about being where we are, who we are, listening, gathering information about our experience, even if it's a void. At a desk or folding clothes or hugging a loved one or missing a loved one...painting a picture or washing floors or driving a truck...if we are here now, we can go anywhere. Here we get the roadmap from ourselves and learn to trust ourselves. Here, we find our "way" by simply being where we are.

So for today, and I say this to encourage myself as much as you: even if it's not all nice and neat, even if our art seems a little more like chaos, even if we miss a note, even if we fall trying to balance, even if we get a cramp when we run, even if our maple syrup boils down to maple sugar, even if we say thank you when we should say sorry, even if we write and it's messy and awkward...let it be.  At least it is true and real. At most, it IS. And when we face what IS and say "I'm here," magic happens. Because once something IS, we can work with it. IS we can tweak. IS we can learn from.  IS is real and true whether it's messy or mad or uncertain or unbelievable.  And because it IS, from here, with a little practice, our void or our chaos can become our art.