Identity

by Stephanie F. Earls

Who are you? What defines you? Do you know? Does it come from the inside or the outside? Every now and then, even if you contemplate this notion from time to time there are moments that happen which get you to take a look at yourself.

A small moment like that happened for me today when I went to the registry of motor vehicles to change my name on my license. With forms filled out, new picture taken and fees paid, the clerk handed me a paper that would be sufficient to use to drive until my "new" license arrives in the mail. My "old" license disappeared into the abyss.

I turned to leave and felt like something was missing! Naked. No "identification". Even the paper that will suffice for driving clearly states that it "may not be used as official identification". I had momentary  panic and realized I was a little attached to my "identity" in my driver's license. It felt strange and uncertain to leave my "identity" behind, separate from myself as I walked away.

I took a quick inventory of myself, questioning: is that plastic card really me? Does it define me? Does the name and how it appears really identify me? Do I need "official identification" to feel who I am?

In yoga philosophy one of the yamas or restraints is the principle of aparigraha: non-possessiveness/non-attachment.  It is the practice of remaining open hearted and open handed through life, letting the ever changing variables of life come and go - flow - whether they be plastic cards with your name on them or a car, a job or a loved one. It's a tough principle because though we try to remain open we still naturally attach to the things in life that we care about. Today for me it was a plastic card linked to my name. In and of itself, my heart was not in it but still there was a tiny pang in my heart as I started to walk away without it. What about for the things that we become more invested in? A job we love, a relationship we value, our home, a dream of something we'd put our heart into. It can be a challenge.

But here in rests the chance to get to know ourselves better, to connect to what is us, from the inside. Here is the chance to connect to the very heart of who we are.

It is part of our practice in yoga, in life, in anything we love, to connect to the part of us that does not change, which can not be taken away or left behind at a registry. Coming to know the steady and gentle constant inside ourselves, which rests unaffected by the whims of what is outside, is part of the path toward peace in our lives.

The external changes, it's the nature of things.  Our being is more than a thing.  Anytime we quiet and connect to our center (even just setting the intention to find it)  we are nourished by our eternal.  We find a strength which can endure all questions of identity. We come to the heart of who we are even while the external swirls around us. We practice remaining open hearted and open handed so that life can flow through us, letting our identity emanate from the inside out.

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60 second practice
Try it: Come to your center. Practice. Use the simplest tool, your breath.   Watch your breath and the way it moves in and out of your body. Take 60 seconds, one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly. Close your eyes and feel the in breath and the out breath. I've said it before, and it's worth repeating... simply notice your breath, no need to change anything, no right or wrong. Just notice your breath. You will be 60 seconds more aware of your source, your light and your identity, which can never be left behind and burns brighter than the sun. Feel your warmth, feel your strength,  feel your openness and with open hands and open heart, know you.